OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

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OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mr Aids on Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:33 am

My Christmas present to you is this flash.

Your present to me can be reviewing and criticising this flash.

Comb over it, point out any spelling mistakes and grammar errors, and if you're a zombie fan, mistakes in the knowledge.

By doing this, you get to appear in the credits of the flash. The presents keep on coming. Pick a name for me to credit you as, if you don't like what we already call you.

I rushed through this, so I expect there to be plently of mistakes.

This is not the final version, the fixed up version is what I'll be submitting to NG.

Anyways, here it is.

PS. I just realized the music dosen't loop. I'll fix that in the final version. To listen to the music, click Music On at the bottom.

I'm tired, I'm going to sleep. I've been working on this flash nonstop for 12-15 fucking hours, and about 3 hours the previous day.

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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  WolflanDarkwolf on Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:02 am

I thought it was neat, tidy and imformitive. The text is a tad hard to read though.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mavander on Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:28 am

The sings of a zombie outbreak.
Point five: "in which" is double

Symptoms, hour 11 - you forgot a coma between numbness and slowed.

The handgun, fifth line "a zombie's". You forgot the '

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I'm only pointing out grammar mistakes, because I know absolutely nothing about virus-made zombies. Necromancy would be something I'm knowledgable about, but, well, appearently, everyone thinks that a virus is more dangerous than ancient and dark magicks used to stop the peaceful rest of the ones who already died and torment their souls in a body that can no longer feel anything. How cruel
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Animetal on Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:47 am

I read so many mistakes I forgot them.

Gauge. Zombie's. You forget the 's.

On the Grenades, you wrote throught instead of through. Just after Shrapnel. In the same section, Overated, you wrote Overatted.

You wrote Defence EVERYWHERE. It's DefenSe.

Anyways, on the THE DEFENCE part, you wrote builings, missed the D.

Police stations, you misspelled Unfortunately.

Churches section, There's a sentence that should be "The will, Eventually".

Waiting it out, it's practice, not practise. Heh, you mispelled Psychological. You wrote "Psycholical", and RIGHT AFTER that, Devastating.

On Equipment you wrote Bandanna.

The best mistake on it is Vechiles. LERN2WRITE NEGRO. It's Vehicles. In that sentence, Unforunately and doesn't. A while later, Maneuver.

Other modes of transport, you wrote is instead of if. Then you wrote Bycile.

That's all I have. =D
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mr Aids on Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:53 pm

K, I've fixed everything, I went through it all.

I've credited you all as Wolf, Animetal and Mavander.

Is that ok?

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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  WolflanDarkwolf on Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:07 pm

I'm cool with that.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Animetal on Thu Dec 25, 2008 9:49 am

I prefer Ani the Eater of Wombs. Or the Destroyer or Virginities.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mavander on Thu Dec 25, 2008 10:33 am

Mine's fine.

And Ani? I think you need an inspiration, you're running out of good ideas. I will NOT help you find that inspiration in any way.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Animetal on Thu Dec 25, 2008 11:31 am

Old School is always Ok.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mr Aids on Thu Dec 25, 2008 8:16 pm

K it's done.

Final version can be viewed here.

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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  zmanwarrior on Fri Dec 26, 2008 6:03 am

I have that book.

I love that book.

Hence, your flash is awesome.
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Re: OMG A FLASH FROM AIDS?!?

Post  Mr Aids on Sat Dec 27, 2008 1:28 am

Cheers!

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